I wake up every day dreading going to work and being bored to tears. I walk on eggshells with my husband who might blow up at me out of the blue. I put on a mask and act the happy and wise leader the people at church expect me to be. I keep my opinions and real thoughts to myself. I have only one true friend.
That was my alternate universe 10 years ago. At that time, I never dreamed my life could be what it is now, because of the way I was raised, the person I was with, the persona I maintained by habit.
I was raised evangelical Christian, got married at a young age, decided I was never going to have kids (though the pressure from other evangelicals was very much to have kids). I was working a quiet, boring job that I hated, living in a place I did not love, with people I couldn’t relate to. My marriage was difficult, painful, hurtful, and sometimes fun. I didn’t want to have kids with him. I didn’t think anything would ever change.
Then I left it all behind.
Now, I’m not religious, married to the best person, with one kid, and have my own business doing something I love (something completely different than the job I hated). I live in my favorite place on earth, with my favorite people on earth.
I’m in my alternate universe era!
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and my life now isn’t perfect. But sometimes I think of how opposite my life is now from then. It really is like I’m living in an alternate universe.
Sarah Wheeler 